Living my Life

Last year was a long and mostly bad year.  I had a total hysterectomy Oct of 07, then my mil and then my mom got diagnosed with cancer at the end of 07.  08 consisted of both my mil and mother dieing, moving houses, dealing with horrible family, my husband rupturing a disk and then having back surgery, me injuring my knee, shoulder, and ankle and having to go thru physical therapy, getting my other house fixed up to sell, dogs attacking each other and a car accident.  So, this is a new year and will be better.  Hubby is doing better after surgery and in another two and half months will move on to physical therapy.  Dogs are all better and settled into new house, plus I might be getting a toy poodle to do obedience with or at least help out with placing the dogs.  We will look at restarting the adoption process once hubby feels better.  The other house will sell and we will be able to put major money away.  Our coffee business will at least fund itself.  My car will be fixed as new and hubby will get his dream truck.  And if I am really lucky I will finish putting this house together.

I am a horrible blogger, cant remember to blog, cant remember what I have blogged about.

Jay had back surgery a week ago, christmas was wonderful and sad with missing my Mom, the dogs keep fighting with Lane in heat and Zibbles here.

I have so much stuff, so much that very little feels important.  I know that a lot of this has to do with inheriting my moms stuff and some of my mil stuff.  I have sorted and sorted but now I am at the point that I still have too much but dont want to get rid of more.  I fully realize how lucky I am to have too much stuff and dearly wish I knew someone to give some of this to who would really appreciate it.

- figured out, bought, and replaced knobs on bathtub and shower

- bought jay Christmas tree and stand and put together

- fixed dryer plug, washed two loads of clothes

- fed and trained 7 dogs

- clean one litter box

- got dog food and fixed kongs for the morning

- washed a load of dishes

As a teenager I was an acolyte at my church and was accustomed to the collection plates being heavy, solid silver.  One weekend my Dad took me to another church with his girlfriend, when the collection plate came along I was expecting solid, heavy silver.  Well, it was like a tin pie plate and I frisbeed it down the aisle.  My Dad was cracking up at both the plate and the horrified look on my face.

I have come to realize that I tend to only talk about him when I am venting about something I am angry with him about.  I feel so bad that I have lead good friends and family to believe that he is a nasty person.  When I realized what I was doing I tried to explain to a friend of mine that hubby is not evil but really a great person.  I explained how just sometimes I need to vent and that we are rarely angry for more than 15 minutes at a time but it seems that my venting has done lots of harm.  I don’t complain to everyone and now I wont to anyone, after all we get over our fits very quickly, but it hurts me how others now see hubby as a bad guy.

Hubby always is there for me when I need help because of my bipolar, he happily deals with my animal obsession.  He wants a child as much as I do, he is never anything but in love with me.  I feel safe and secure with him and any decisions he makes.  I really am a very lucky girl, I got married at 18 years old and have been married for 15 years now.  I want the world to know how special he is.

The pups each got a soup meat and bone.   I did have to help out Willow a little and cut up the meat some, her baby teeth just werent up to the task.

Jay has a prescription that requires a shot twice a month but the doctor wanted to do it and we have moved and it can now take us up to an hour to get there.  I give my dogs their vaccine shots myself so I have syringes available.  Today we decided to skip the doctor visit and do it ourselves… turns out that the needle used for dogs is lots bigger than the doctor uses or that the spot Jay picked for me to give the shot was the WRONG spot.  I felt so bad but also almost peed myself laughing.  Got to love the guy.

A few things have happened, I will try to do this on a more regular basis so I dont get so lost in what has happened. 

I was majorly sick for a few days, but am better now.  The pt for my knee is helping my ankle but my shoulder is really acting up and I have an appt next week with the ortho so I hope to start pt for it soon.

We went and saw the movie The Haunting of Molly Hartly.  Now dont read this part if you are going to see it and dont want our opinion on it.   OK, where was the evil Molly was to turn into?  She was happy in the end and everyone who died had it coming to them for trying to kill Molly.  In our opinion she was happy when it was all done with so if everyone would have just left her alone and not scared Molly she would have been happy the entire time.

Finally the Big News is

We started the adoption process, we have hired a consultant and a social worker.  I even got Eva from Dr Soto’s to help me out with the letter Dr. Soto needs to write for me so that it should be done by my appt on Monday!

I went to primary today about my shoulder which I have been having issues with for a few months starting with my daily swimming.  Turns out that I get another, yeppers, another MRI.  They sent me to an open MRI for my ankle and knee but then wanted to send me to a closed one for my shoulder, ugg, I fixed that.  I will be doing pt on the shoulder but need to find out if I have to wait till after the MRI or not so I hope to know before tomorrows pt session for my knee.  I did get a copy of my blood work saying how everything is OK as far as RA and ANA factors. 

Tomorrow I have a lot to do, pt on knee, get two apples (one to bury at front and back door to welcome the dead and to show the way out), carve a pumpkin (might do that tonight and just place on dads grave tomorrow), do a little ritual, and hand out candy.  I hope I can get it all done.

Jay had his first pt on his back earlier this week and got his first shot in the spine today.  We have scheduled future pt for both of us on the same days and times.

Ugg, some pup has gas, got to go air out the house.